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Rhi's Stories.
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Old 29-04-2007, 02:22   #1 (permalink)
 
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Rhi's Stories.

I posted a (rather ridiculous) story on my blog the other night, which I wrote off the top of my head over 3 nights, asking people to comment to see the next bit....
Just thought some of you might like some short-story amusement. (It's a kiddie style story, so unfortunately, despite requests, noone gets runover by a roadtrain mounting a kerb because it;s too soppy...)
So here it is...

Once Upon A Time...

There was a puppy.
This puppy had 4 very cute white paws, but the rest of his puppy body was black. He was very shiny, because his owners took very good care of him.
His name was Rupert.
One day, Rupert's owners were taking him for a walk, to the local park, where he could sniff out all the local delights.
There they were, in the middle of this glorious park, with great leafy trees, and springy green grass, and Rupert was having the time of his life.
Friends of Rupert's owners saw them, and approached, and as all adults do, they struck up conversation. Very boring conversation, about very adult things, like bills, shopping, and what's for dinner. (Rupert's ears did perk up at the mention of steak, but he lost interest again very quickly).
On and on this conversation went. Rupert sat quietly. Then he scratched himself a little. Licked his soft white paws.
WHOOSH!
Something caught his eye!
Something small, white and furry had run straight past Rupert, and he couldn't help but be excited.
He ran off after it!
His owner's had relaxed and didn't have a very good hold on his leash, and gasped when it pulled out of their hands.
They tried to chase after him, but Rupert, with his springy little paws, darted in and around bushes, after what had now revealed itself as a bunny.
Rupert's nose followed this bunny's trail, whilst his eyes trained upon the bunny's behind.
He wasn't so sure why he felt obligated to chase this poor bunny, only that he was having more fun that he was before. He had also forgotten completely about his owner's. It wasn't long before he also noticed that he had no idea where he was.
Rupert stopped abruptly, and the bunny shot off, out of sight.
He sat down, and pondered his situation.
He was lost- he didn't recognise any of the trees, or bushes.
Even his own nose couldn't detect his own trail- he had been running around all over the place, and it was all very jumbled.
But worse still, his little puppy tummy was rumbling!
Rupert let out a tiny pitiful howl, a puppy howl.
Nothing.
He howled a little louder.
Nothing still.

And then....

Poor little Rupert, for lack of any better ideas, began to wander around, sniffing, whining. Just hoping for something that could help him find his way.
The sky had started to darken, and the part of the park that Rupert was in had lots of trees, so he started to get cold. He was shivering, despite his soft furry puppy coat.
Before long, he found himself at an altogether unfamiliar road, and began following it. He didn't know where he was heading.
Rupert had long since stopped his whining.
It was getting darker and darker, and colder and colder.
Rupert found an empty box by the side of the road, and curled up inside it, trying to warm himself up, but nothing could stop the rumbling in his poor little puppy tummy.
Exhaustion and fear finally overtook Rupert, and he fell asleep, dreaming broken dreams of warm plates of milk, big juicy steaks, and bunnies...

It had rained during the night, and Rupert awoke feeling not much better than he did the night before. He could hear cars driving past, and footsteps on the path.
Suddenly, a head poked over the side of his box.
It was a grandma! She had a kindly face, and tut tutted, seeing a poor little puppy soaking wet and shivering in a cardboard box.
"Oh, you poor deary. Someone must have abandoned you! Dear oh dear. Here, lets get you home, warm you up, and give you a good feed! You must be starved!"
She scooped Rupert up out of his sodden box, tucked him into her jacket, and briskly began walking home.
Grandma's house wasn't too far away, thankfully, and when she arrived, she promptly went about preparing a delicious meal for Rupert, of meat, some vegetables, some warm milk, and a bowl of water.
Rupert was absolutely delighted at this offering, and ate everything as fast as he could, before falling asleep in a cozy, warm bed Grandma had prepared for him.
At last, he was able to sleep solidly, a dreamless yet peaceful sleep.

Meanwhile, Rupert's poor distraught owners had spent the whole night looking for him, to no avail. They were so upset, their poor little puppy! Who knows what had happened to him!
Mum set about finding gorgeous photos of Rupert, and preparing LOST posters to put up around their neighborhood. Dad went out and sticky taped them to trees, telegraph poles, shop windows, anywhere he could find. What he had left, he stuck on people's car windows.
All they could do now, was sit, and wait, and hope for a call.

Rupert and Grandma were having a glorious time in Grandma's backyard, throwing a ball, playing tug-o-war. Grandma hadn't felt so happy for such a long time, but in the back of Rupert's mind, were his owners, and his real home.
Grandma had it set in her mind that Rupert was abandoned, that some cruel, evil people had dumped him in the street, and that she was going to keep him for herself.
"I'll name you Euston!"
But my name is Rupert, thought the poor pup, although he had no way of telling Grandma this.

Days passed, and Rupert forever pined after his owners, but Grandma loved him so much, and lived so far out of town, she never saw the posters declaring him lost.


Huzzah!

It had been a few weeks since Rupert's adventure, and he was slowly growing accustomed to the idea that he may never see his real owners, his real bed, and his very own special squeaky toys again. He had stopped pining- whining at the front door, and jumping with excitement at footsteps that sounded like his owners.
His owners were the same- they had all but given up hope. They had scoured the neighbourhood, rung the pound, rung every place they could think of, but ran out of ideas.

Rupert was beginning to grow into a big dog now- no longer the cute puppy, a small bundle of black fur, with deliciously soft white paws. He was a teenager now- somewhat more gangly, more of a handful, but still oh so adorable, and Grandma loved him dearly.


She took her Euston for walks nearly every day (except in horrible weather), always fed him the best food available, and played with him regularly.

One day, she grew bored of her regular walking route, and decided to go a different way, to the other side of town.
It was a beautiful day- the sun was shining brightly, hardly a cloud in the sky. Euston pranced gaily beside Grandma, delighted to be offered all these new sights and scents. Every now and then, his nose picked up something familiar, which jolted near-gone memories in his mind.

Then, all of a sudden, it happened.
Rupert saw them.
They saw him.
With Grandma.

Rupert was confused- excited, but oh so confused.
Mum and Dad were shocked- was this really their very own Rupert?
Grandma didn't know any better- she didn't recognise these people from a bar of soap.

Rupert pulled at his leash, which was an odd thing for him to do, because he had always been so obedient, happy to walk by Grandma's side.
Poor weak old Grandma, the leash was pulled out of her hands, and she gasped, as her Euston ran towards these strange people.

He sniffed them.
Walked around them, sniffed them some more.
It really is you! he exclaimed with a furious wag of his shiny black tail.
Mum and Dad were overjoyed- it really was their Rupert!

Grandma walked up to them.
"And who are you?" she asked, with a sneaking suspicion that these may have been the people that dumped her poor Euston.
"Rupert's owners! Oh my, we've missed him so much- been looking for him for weeks now!"
"Missed him?! You dumped him on the side of the road, in a cardboard box! I found the poor little fellow, wet and cold. I've been looking after him!"
Mum and Dad were utterly shocked at this accusation. They told Grandma their story though, explained how he got away, and how long they'd been looking for their darling puppy.
"Oh... Oh, I see. So... you'll be wanting him back?" Grandma looked devestated. Would these people take her Rupert away?
Mum and Dad could see the look on poor Grandma's face. They understood exactly how she felt- facing the prospect of losing one you loved dearly.
"Well, we would like to...."
"Oh...." Grandma's face fell even more.
"But, tell you what. Rupert obviously loves you dearly- why don't you come over and see him whenever you like? I'm sure he'd appreciate that, and so would we!"
"Really? You'd let me?"
"Of course! You've done such a wonderful job of looking after him lately, I don't see any harm in it!"
"Oh, my! That would be wonderful, thank you!"

Grandma handed Rupert/Euston's lead over to Mum and Dad, who bent down and spent a very long time kissing and hugging their long lost puppy, and admiring the changes in his growing body.
Rupert went home with Mum and Dad that day, but was visited by his loving Grandma at least once a week, for the rest of his long life.
Rupert, Mum, Dad and Grandma, were all brought together by one small twist of fate.
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Old 29-04-2007, 02:25   #2 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

I'm writing another one at the moment. I'm going a little loopy at the moment and it's coming out in my stories....

Timothy's Saga.



All characters and events in the following story are entirely fictional, and aren't based on real life circumstances, because if they did, well, f**k me dead.


So, there’s this bloke called Timothy.
Everyone calls him ‘The Bloke With No Face’ which of course, is very untrue, because he does have a face, it’s just.... well... we’ll get to that.
I mean, if he didn’t have a face, he wouldn’t have to eat, unless he lived at one of those eating disorder clinics where they shove a tube in your stomach and feed you mushed up vitamins for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Highly unappetising.
So as it was, TImothy did have a mouth, and he used said mouth quite regularly- for smoking, eating, drinking, and most of all, talking.
Unfortunately, for both him and the wall in question, talking to a wall doesn’t do much for your sanity.
Which is where I get to a point.
Timothy lives in a psycho ward.
And herein lies my other point, which if you read the second sentence in this saga, will make sense- spending ones time talking to a wall doesn’t allow many people to see your face, in the way that public speaking might. And, if you need me to point it out for you, dipshit, this is why he is nicknamed ‘The Bloke With No Face.’
Personally, I’d have chosen a shorter nickname, like... Tim. Or even crazy-psycho-sonofabitch, both much easier to say, especially the second which just rolls off the tongue.
Not my place to judge though. The psychiatrists maybe, but not mine.
Why?
Aren’t we all entitled to our opinions, you ask?
Perhaps, but noone really listens to folks like me.
I’ll get to that though.
I am one of the lucky ones though, I am one of the rare ones who gets to see Timothy’s face. Kind of like a fly-on-the-wall thing (he talks to walls remember?) except, well, I’m the one eating the flies.
Clicked yet?
If you need me to spell it out for you dipshit, there’s a photo of me next to ‘spider’ in the dictionary. Well, at least there would be if dictionary’s had photos. An encyclopedia maybe. Go check!
Satisfied?
Right, well on we get.


Stay tuned.
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Old 29-04-2007, 07:34   #3 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

Y.....A DONDE QUIERES LLEGAR RHI?.............
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Old 29-04-2007, 14:41   #4 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

PART TWO!

Timothy's Saga Part II

Ok so noone's had a chance to comment, but I wrote another 3 parts last night and thought bugger it, I shall treat you now!


So, today, one of these aforementioned psychiatrists comes in to check on dear old Timothy. Well, not old, he’s only 25, but he shakes like an old man with Parkinson’s. And who knows, maybe he has the wisdom of an 80 year old. Noone would know though, can’t get a decent sentence out of him.
Unless, of course, you’re a wall.
So where are we? Ah yes, the doctor.
He isn’t wearing a white coat like you see in the movies. Probably because this isn’t a movie. And yes, I’ve watched movies, I used to live next door in the motel, but the viewing here is much more amusing.
Voyeur? Me? Never!
Doctor-bloke is trying to strike up a conversation with Timothy, who as usual, is rambling on to the wall about bottles of coke, butterflies, world domination. You know, the usual.
Doctor-bloke gives up after about 10 minutes, sits down on Timothy’s bed (rude if you ask me, but Timothy gave no objections. That we could understand anyway).
He pulls out a tape recorder, turns it on, and sits there, taking notes, doing the ‘hmm’-ing and ‘ah yes’-ing like a professional, which I suppose is just a cover to hide the fact that he is quite likely a useless rotten idiot and only got this job because his uncle sneaked him in.
(Personally, I’d be working harder on sneaking out if I was a human here, but oh well).
I should get to my point.
Did I mention I like points? Pointy things in general. Probably because when I was a spiderling, my mother wouldn’t let me near sharp or pointy things, particularly the knife in the motel kitchen I mentioned before. Which was probably good advice, because I would have likely been crushed under a shoe, or sprayed with fly spray. I guess I should be thankful for the advice, because I’m here today to tell you about Timothy.
Which gets me back to...
Timothy!
After days and days of doing nothing but talking shit to the wall (the eastern wall mind you, same colour as all the rest but he must have a special attraction to it).
Anyway.
He turns and looks at me!
Like, actual eye contact, with those funny looking eyes you humans have. And only two of them! I don’t get how you’re allowed to drive, you must have such poor vision.
I would have frozen if it wasn’t for the fact, that as a spider, I wasn’t moving much to begin with.
“YOU!” he said, looking directly at me, and at that moment I was very grateful for the fact that the inmates here aren’t given hard shoes, for I feared I might become a flat spider. Mind you, slippers can still hurt.
The doctor-bloke jumped.
He looked at me too.
I mentally pleaded to him- ‘I’ve just caused a revolutionary breakthrough in your patient, more than you have done you slack tart, so don’t kill me or else I get my mother to lay eggs in your underpants.’
‘Interesting,’ he mused, and proceeded to leave the room.
Timothy, of course, went back to mumbling to the wall.
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Old 29-04-2007, 14:54   #5 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

pardon to take in understanding.........
I already understood as it is the point
is interesting.....
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Old 29-04-2007, 15:03   #6 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

puedes exponer la tercera parte ahora,?? por favor RHI!
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Old 29-04-2007, 23:33   #7 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

Part III

So, the next day, doctor-bloke comes in, and just sits straight down, with his tape recorder and notebook.
He looks at me.
Then at Timothy.
Then back at me.
Like he was expecting me to perform some sort of miracle perhaps.
I’m just a bloody spider mate, I thought. I may have more legs and eyes than you, but you’re supposed to be the qualified miracle worker here.
No miracles today though, apparently. Timothy continued his incessant rambling, and eventually doctor-bloke tired of it, and left the room.
Opportune moment for Timothy to perform his own miracles.
He looks at me again.
“YOU!” he says again.
What now? I thought.
“Help me!”
What do I look like, ****ing Charlotte?
I stared right back at him, with most of my eyes anyway. A couple were on this delciiously juicy fly hovering rather close to my web in the corner.
“Help me!” he pleaded again.
Wow, 2 sentences in one day, breakthrough!
What the hell can I do? I thought. Just because I can sneak under doors doesn’t mean I can help YOU do that.
“Do something then, please!”
3 sentneces, we’re on a roll!
But wait... Hang on.
He... He couldn’t possibly understand me, could he?
Nah, it’s a ridiculous notion, all coincidence.
More eyes on the fly.
Timothy looked at the fly too.
At this point I’m starting to think.... What the hell? For a spider with a very simple mind, and simple attractions to simple things like sharp knives and juicy flies, this was starting to unsettle me slightly.
“I’ll break your web if you don’t help me!”
Oooh, so the boy has a nasty streak! I scuttled on over to my web, and tried to look as menacing as possible, which to a person with aracnaphobia is quite easy, but to someone certifiably insane, can prove quite a challenge. Thankfully, the cook in the kitchen back at the motel was of the former, not the latter, and was too scared to even get close enough to squish me with her shoe, the one time I dared to get close to her shiny knives.
“Ha! I knew you could understand me!” Timothy looked somewhat triumphant. Not sure why, I think it was just making him look more nuts.
Can the wall undestand you? I thought, because I’m cheeky like that. I breached my egg when the Sun was in Gemini, so that makes me witty, cheeky, and also a little crazy. Guess I’m in the right place to be crazy, at least.
“Of course not.” He replied. And by replied, I can only assume that he bloody well read my thoughts, which of course brings out 2 issues. One, how the hell can he read my thoughts, and 2, why the hell does he speak to the wall then?!
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Old 30-04-2007, 00:34   #8 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

because is an open book.........
because it must watch the mirror, with the eyes of the soul.......
it is as well as it watches the mirror.


the mirror, watches all the wonderful one that on the inside takes..........eso that nobody understands and that it is so simple and LOVE is called
the man in front of the mirror, requests LOVE
WHAT THE MAN THE MIRROR HAS IN FRONT OF NOT UNDERSTOOD IS THAT IT IS THE "LOVE"
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Old 30-04-2007, 00:56   #9 (permalink)
 
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Re: Rhi's Stories.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Octiris
because is an open book.........
because it must watch the mirror, with the eyes of the soul.......
it is as well as it watches the mirror.
Too right... You can tell I'm loopy at the moment, it's coming right out in my work.
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