MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM

Jay · 15-06-2007, 23:51

A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:

Please note that this Bank is

installing new Drive-through ATM

machines enabling customers to

withdraw cash without leaving their

vehicles.
Customers using this new facility are

requested to use the procedures outlined

below when accessing their accounts."

"After months of careful research, MALE

& FEMALE Procedures have been

developed. Please follow the Appropriate

steps for your gender."

MALE PROCEDURE:

1. Drive up to the cash machine.

2. Put down your car window.

3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.

4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.

5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.

6. Put window up.

7. Drive off.

**********************************************

FEMALE PROCEDURE:

Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!!

1. Drive up to cash machine.

2. Reverse and back up the required
amount to align car window with the machine.

3. Set parking brake, put the window down.

4. Find handbag, remove all contents
on to passenger seat to locate card.

5. Tell person on cell phone you will
call them back and hang up.

6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

7. Open car door to allow easier access
to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.

8. Insert card.

9. Re-insert card the right way.

10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.

11. Enter PIN.

12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.

13. Enter amount of cash required.

14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.

15. Retrieve cash and receipt.

16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.

17. Write debit amount in checkregister and
place receipt in back of checkbook.

18. Re-check makeup.

19. Drive forward 2 feet.

20. Reverse back to cash machine.

21. Retrieve card.

22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided!

23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.

24. Restart stalled engine and drive off.

25. Redial person on cell phone.

26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.

27. Release Parking Brake.

BeautUtes

Stace · 16-06-2007, 01:23

haha, gold. to tell the truth i am surprised how many women i see go to the counter in a shop, wait until they are told the price and then dig through their overstocked handbag to find their purse...gah if it wasnt so annoying it would be funny

IC BIATCH 69 · 16-06-2007, 08:32

priceless . and sadly for some females this is true

Burgs · 16-06-2007, 08:55

yep Jay thats a good one mate

BeautUtes

ron · 16-06-2007, 10:57

dont forget when theyre at the checkout with their bundle of kids all wanting (demanding) something they are told the price then they look for their purse and find after seaching for a long time cant find cash ,so they have another look for the plastic card and find that it does not work and begin to argue with the checkout chick or bloke that its their fault not the fact that the kids, dog or the bag of lollies that have melted in the handbag have caused it to fail!
Life is simple though

THE FLYING SCOTSMAN · 16-06-2007, 11:33

classic

MOTHERSWORRYII · 16-06-2007, 12:48

thats a cracker...... soooo true jay, good call matey

Matt_91 · 16-06-2007, 12:52

good one jay

BeautUtes

Kalchick · 16-06-2007, 19:44

That is so true, like the express lane when they keep goin back for more stuff, drives me nuts.

Stace · 16-06-2007, 19:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kalchick

That is so true, like the express lane when they keep goin back for more stuff, drives me nuts.

whats this...coming from a chick?? haha neh your not all bad

15-06-2007, 23:51	#1 (permalink)
Jay Status: 2006 Champion 4x4 Ute! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: From Maffra, Vic. Now in Moora, WA Posts: 3,603 Rep Power: 10	MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads: Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts." "After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed. Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender." MALE PROCEDURE: 1. Drive up to the cash machine. 2. Put down your car window. 3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN. 4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw. 5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt. 6. Put window up. 7. Drive off. ********************************************** FEMALE PROCEDURE: Unfortunately, most of this part is the Truth.!!!! 1. Drive up to cash machine. 2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine. 3. Set parking brake, put the window down. 4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card. 5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up. 6. Attempt to insert card into machine. 7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car. 8. Insert card. 9. Re-insert card the right way. 10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page. 11. Enter PIN. 12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN. 13. Enter amount of cash required. 14. Check makeup in rear view mirror. 15. Retrieve cash and receipt. 16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside. 17. Write debit amount in checkregister and place receipt in back of checkbook. 18. Re-check makeup. 19. Drive forward 2 feet. 20. Reverse back to cash machine. 21. Retrieve card. 22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided! 23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you. 24. Restart stalled engine and drive off. 25. Redial person on cell phone. 26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles. 27. Release Parking Brake. __________________ I said NO to alcohol, but it didn't listen!

16-06-2007, 01:23	#2 (permalink)
Stace Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: woodanilling Posts: 635 Rep Power: 2	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM haha, gold. to tell the truth i am surprised how many women i see go to the counter in a shop, wait until they are told the price and then dig through their overstocked handbag to find their purse...gah if it wasnt so annoying it would be funny __________________ If youre gonna play the game, boy, ya gotta learn to play it right.

16-06-2007, 08:32	#3 (permalink)
IC BIATCH 69 Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: queanbeyan Posts: 726 Rep Power: 3	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM priceless . and sadly for some females this is true __________________ blonde dyed black......artificial intellegence

16-06-2007, 08:55	#4 (permalink)
Burgs Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Narangba Posts: 575 Rep Power: 2	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM yep Jay thats a good one mate __________________ You can ride a horse to water but you cant drive a UTE to petrol when shes empty

16-06-2007, 10:57	#5 (permalink)
ron Status: January Best Street Ute! Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: wodonga vic Posts: 40 Rep Power: 0	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM dont forget when theyre at the checkout with their bundle of kids all wanting (demanding) something they are told the price then they look for their purse and find after seaching for a long time cant find cash ,so they have another look for the plastic card and find that it does not work and begin to argue with the checkout chick or bloke that its their fault not the fact that the kids, dog or the bag of lollies that have melted in the handbag have caused it to fail! Life is simple though

16-06-2007, 11:33	#6 (permalink)
THE FLYING SCOTSMAN Status: 2006 Champion Street Ute Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: GOSNELLS Posts: 1,572 Rep Power: 11	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM classic __________________ COUNTRY OR CONCRETE WE ARE ALL HERE TO HAVE FUN JESTERS UTE CLUB

16-06-2007, 12:48	#7 (permalink)
MOTHERSWORRYII Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: adelaide Posts: 251 Rep Power: 3	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM thats a cracker...... soooo true jay, good call matey __________________ MOTHERSWORRY II UHF-27/40 AM-27/8 - PUCKO & SQUIRT *Pucko & Squirt Become one, 27/10/07* *Mixed Emotions: When Your Mother In Law Drives Off A Cliff In Your Brand New Malloo!* *Live..... like there aint a tommorrow, Dance..... like theres nobody watchin, and Love..... like you've never been hurt!*

16-06-2007, 12:52	#8 (permalink)
Matt_91 Status: Beaut utes.com Postaholic Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Gatton QLD Posts: 1,576 Rep Power: 3	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM good one jay __________________ SUCH IS LIFE- THE LAST WORDS OF NED KELLY BEFORE BEING HANGED

16-06-2007, 19:44	#9 (permalink)
Kalchick Status: Feral Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Mandurah Posts: 107 Rep Power: 2	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM That is so true, like the express lane when they keep goin back for more stuff, drives me nuts.

16-06-2007, 19:52	#11 (permalink)
Kalchick Status: Feral Member Join Date: Mar 2007 Location: Mandurah Posts: 107 Rep Power: 2	Re: MALE vs FEMALE AT THE ATM