Making a Baby

Tweetie · 13-06-2007, 20:49

The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a
surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive,
Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man
should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer
happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning,
Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."
"Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been
expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know
babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a
seat".
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room
floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and
me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In
and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the
job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too.
The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly
concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your,
uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod
and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much
too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted

BeautUtes

Sharpy · 13-06-2007, 21:00

hahahahahah what smooth talker!

Cowboy XF · 13-06-2007, 21:43

lolthats gold love it

Matt_91 · 13-06-2007, 22:17

bahahahahaha

BeautUtes

PEDLER · 14-06-2007, 20:53

hahahaha gold

metal mickey · 14-06-2007, 21:54

thats a good one tweetie i like it

rumsup1 · 15-06-2007, 11:05

TEN OUT OF TEN VERY FUNNY

fuzzyevil1 · 15-06-2007, 17:02

hahaha thats a classic

BeautUtes

Jay · 15-06-2007, 17:27

hahaha love it!!

13-06-2007, 20:49	#1 (permalink)
Tweetie Status: This Bitch Bites.... HARD Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Sale Posts: 1,128 Rep Power: 5	Making a Baby The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon." Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..." "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you." "Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?" "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat". After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?" "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there." "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!" "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results." "My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith. "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be In and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that." "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly. The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said. "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat. "And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with." "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith. "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look" "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement. "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in." Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?" "It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away." "Tripod?" "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long." Mrs. Smith fainted __________________ You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of!!

13-06-2007, 21:00	#2 (permalink)
Sharpy Status: Hardcore Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Alice Springs Posts: 1,354 Rep Power: 4	Re: Making a Baby hahahahahah what smooth talker! __________________ SHARPY N DAVE UTECLUB MEMBERS WANTED Enquire within

13-06-2007, 21:43	#3 (permalink)
Cowboy XF Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: where ever the swag rolls out at the end of the day Posts: 303 Rep Power: 4	Re: Making a Baby lolthats gold love it __________________ I LIVE LIFE WITH MORE CIRCLE WORK PONGO Rum Bum Cruzin Crew "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Rum in one hand - Smokes in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming Whoo what a ride".

13-06-2007, 22:17	#4 (permalink)
Matt_91 Status: Beaut utes.com Postaholic Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Gatton QLD Posts: 1,576 Rep Power: 3	Re: Making a Baby bahahahahaha __________________ SUCH IS LIFE- THE LAST WORDS OF NED KELLY BEFORE BEING HANGED

14-06-2007, 20:53	#5 (permalink)
PEDLER Status: CAUTION CRAZY BOGAN Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Broadford Posts: 699 Rep Power: 3	Re: Making a Baby hahahaha gold __________________ DIESEL BROTHERHOOD IS READY TO ROLL B DOUBLE E DOUBLE R U IN ? *PROUD TO BE AUSTRALIAN* *www.autotechtools.com.au* *will be at* *BENDIGO SWAP MEET*

14-06-2007, 21:54	#6 (permalink)
metal mickey Status: CRAZY AND MAD LOL Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: rum capital of australia Posts: 2,348 Rep Power: 6	Re: Making a Baby thats a good one tweetie i like it __________________ RUM SO MUCH MORE THAN A BREAKFAST FOOD

15-06-2007, 11:05	#7 (permalink)
rumsup1 Status: Addicted Member Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Adelaide,All Points of the Compass Posts: 3,134 Rep Power: 7	Re: Making a Baby TEN OUT OF TEN VERY FUNNY

15-06-2007, 17:02	#8 (permalink)
fuzzyevil1 Status: Deni's my baby Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: WA Posts: 691 Rep Power: 3	Re: Making a Baby hahaha thats a classic __________________ The journey doesn't end here; death is just another path; One that we all must take; Grey rain curtain rolls back & all turns to silver glass. And then you see it. White shores and beyond; A far green country, with a swift sunrise

15-06-2007, 17:27	#9 (permalink)
Jay Status: 2006 Champion 4x4 Ute! Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: From Maffra, Vic. Now in Moora, WA Posts: 3,603 Rep Power: 10	Re: Making a Baby hahaha love it!! __________________ I said NO to alcohol, but it didn't listen!

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