Sorry Ford Lovers!

Billy · 28-09-2004, 21:45

Someone emailed this to me the other day.... no offence to Ford Lovers!!!

The Ford AU ute has cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate. So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time.

Friends don't let friends drive Fords.

If all the vehicles in New Zealand were 'Built Ford Tough', the shoulders of New Zealand's highways would be a much more crowded place.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Have you outdriven a Ford lately?

This is Holden country and on quiet nights you can hear Fords rusting.

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

I'd rather push a Holden than drive a Ford.

Ford Escort me to a Holden dealer.

Buy a Ford and you buy the 'best'. Drive a mile and walk the rest.

Sometimes the best jokes are true. On May 12, Ford announced a recall on it's Expeditions and F-series trucks. Faulty lug nuts could cause the tyres to FALL OFF. It just keeps getting better.

SPEED KILLS
Drive a Ford and live forever.

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!"

If you're baffled why Ford is actually competing in ATCC, don't be. They have teams of mechanics working around the clock for a week, just so they can run a race.

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
If is wasn't for Ford
our tools would be rust.

Q: How do you double the value of a Ford?
A: Put gas in it.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there footpaths beside streets?
A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: Why is New Zealand so far in debt?
A: Jenny Shipley gets chauffered in a Ford.

Q: How much wood could a Ford ute haul if a Ford ute could haul wood?
A: As much as the Holden ute towing it.

Ford acronyms:

F O R D
Found On Rubbish Dumps
Fix Or Repair Daily
Fails On Rainy Days
Fails On Race Day
Found On Roadside Dead
Factory Ordered Road Disaster
Factory Ordered Rebuilt Datsun
Flip Over Read Directions
Four Old Rusted Doors
Ford Owner Really Dumb

(French) - Fabrication Ordinare Reparation Dispendieuse
Ford Owners Recommend Datsun (Dodge)
Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy
For Off Road Death
Fords Only Run Downhill
Fat Old Rusted Dog
Freaking Old Rusted Dodge (Datsun)
Forget Out Running Datsuns

Or in reverse...

D R O F
Drivers Return On Foot
Don't Ride Over Fifty
Danged Roaches Outrun Ford
Datsun Rules Over Ford

Pinto acronyms...

P I N T O
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
Put In New Transmission Often
Put In Nickel To Operate

If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford...

You look in your rear-view mirror to see two people with their hands on your tailgate.
You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation.
When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car.
While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again.
You have preferred customer status at Appco Auto Parts.
You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off.
You leave your keys in the ignition and a $20 bill on the dash for gas money in hopes that someone will steal your car.
When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing.
People try to hire you to bring your truck to their house to fog for mosquitos.
In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes

Auctions

ic cold vs · 09-01-2005, 19:24

ooooh naaaasty, but oh so true

09-01-2005, 19:39

Sigh...Just reverse it & use Holden's letters,this is childlike....we can go on like this forever.....

Billy · 09-01-2005, 19:46

Ute girl,
Its all in good fun, if you can find a good ford joke for holden lovers, please feel free to post it!
This Ute Forum is not just for holden fans it is also for ford lovers too! Even though I love Holdens, I do admire ford utes as well, if I see nice ford utes I always take pics of them for the ute photo gallery!

Auctions

Melzy · 18-01-2005, 11:47

ok ok ok
HOLDEN stands for Holes, Oil Leaks Dents & Engine Noises
on the 8th day god created holdens to keep peckers heads out of fords
yep found on rubbish dump, why cause i was just dropping off another load of holden stuff

ic cold vs · 18-01-2005, 16:11

Quote:

Originally Posted by nortie 1

ok ok ok
HOLDEN stands for Holes, Oil Leaks Dents & Engine Noises
on the 8th day god created holdens to keep peckers heads out of fords
yep found on rubbish dump, why cause i was just dropping off another load of holden stuff

or maybe not

ha,ha

18-01-2005, 18:58

Quote:

Originally Posted by nortie 1

ok ok ok
HOLDEN stands for Holes, Oil Leaks Dents & Engine Noises
on the 8th day god created holdens to keep peckers heads out of fords
yep found on rubbish dump, why cause i was just dropping off another load of holden stuff

Lol...THANKYOU nortie 1!!! It appears there's SOME people here with taste...and a sense of humor to boot.
FORD....Full Of Raunchy Dudettes!!

The Lucky Bitch · 20-01-2005, 18:38

As the story goes i'd ranther push my holden than drive ford!

Ads

corbster · 22-01-2005, 04:23

As i have asked the question many times...Why do holden drivers drive so bloody fast?

Well wouldnt you so you can get out of it quicker.

22-01-2005, 11:37

Quote:

Originally Posted by corbster

As i have asked the question many times...Why do holden drivers drive so bloody fast?

Well wouldnt you so you can get out of it quicker.

YESSSSSS!! This is Great.....see,there ARE Ford lovers out there,we just gotta get more of 'em HERE!!!!!

Rock on Corbster,rock on......

ic cold vs · 22-01-2005, 12:48

Quote:

Originally Posted by corbster

As i have asked the question many times...Why do holden drivers drive so bloody fast?

Well wouldnt you so you can get out of it quicker.

because we can

Blondie 1974 · 04-02-2005, 15:36

No HOLDEN stands for Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now

charliesblade · 05-02-2005, 19:04

Quote:

Originally Posted by utegirl70

Lol...THANKYOU nortie 1!!! It appears there's SOME people here with taste...and a sense of humor to boot.
FORD....Full Of Raunchy Dudettes!!

There r some pretty filth dudes and dudettes that drive fords.
Now, I dont hate Holdens, i just like fords a touch more....

Melzy · 06-02-2005, 20:49

ok ok here we go

High Output Lights Drain Energy Notoriously

How do you make a holden drive at least 1000 miles without breaking down?
Put a ford engine in it

i had a real bad nightmare last night, i dreamt i owned a holden

HOLDEN australia most widely used warning label

why are holdens cheaper than fords?
Because you get what you pay for

ok this should give everyone something to think about. have a good day

FORD ROCKS, I LOVE MINE

06-02-2005, 21:04

WOOHOO!!! You go grrrl....now this is gettin' interesting hey fellas!!

Bout time the FORD fans fought back!!! Yeeha!!

ic cold vs · 07-02-2005, 16:08

CAR WARS

ford lovers strike back

but holden still rules

charliesblade · 07-02-2005, 18:27

No-one ever wins a war...

(but this could b fun! GO FORD GO! WOO!)

red sled · 25-02-2005, 04:19

i love my FORD SSSSSS ant they all start first crank
maybe they are a barstard to fix the coils on but ya only do that so ofter

but i ask do holden make a heavy ute ???

anyone seen any H150 ' s or H250 ? H350 thought not !

i need a vehicle with a tough chassis and the holdens just dont cut it
i have looked closely, objectivle and just on strength alone ford is a cut above

for those of you that have seen my blue stretched wagon will know why ford will always be best

Tonky · 25-02-2005, 11:38

OK well im not a 1 sided person when it comes to cars, as long as they get me from A to B ill be happy, but try this, HOLDEN; Hold On Love Darn Engines Nacked.

Melzy · 25-02-2005, 22:27

i have some more for you all

in 6 days god made the world, on the 7th he made a holden and on the 8th day he traded it in for a FORD

this is FORD country and on quiet nights you can hear holdens rusting

well only 2 but are still searching for more.
GO FORDS

have a great day

28-09-2004, 21:45	#1
Billy Status: BeautUtes.com est. 2004 Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dumbleyung! Posts: 8,186 Rep Power: 10	Sorry Ford Lovers! Someone emailed this to me the other day.... no offence to Ford Lovers!!! The Ford AU ute has cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate. So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time. Friends don't let friends drive Fords. If all the vehicles in New Zealand were 'Built Ford Tough', the shoulders of New Zealand's highways would be a much more crowded place. Have you driven over a Ford lately? Have you outdriven a Ford lately? This is Holden country and on quiet nights you can hear Fords rusting. I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford. I'd rather push a Holden than drive a Ford. Ford Escort me to a Holden dealer. Buy a Ford and you buy the 'best'. Drive a mile and walk the rest. Sometimes the best jokes are true. On May 12, Ford announced a recall on it's Expeditions and F-series trucks. Faulty lug nuts could cause the tyres to FALL OFF. It just keeps getting better. SPEED KILLS Drive a Ford and live forever. A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!" If you're baffled why Ford is actually competing in ATCC, don't be. They have teams of mechanics working around the clock for a week, just so they can run a race. Ashes to ashes, Dust to dust, If is wasn't for Ford our tools would be rust. Q: How do you double the value of a Ford? A: Put gas in it. Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford? A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards. Q: Why are there footpaths beside streets? A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home. Q: Why is New Zealand so far in debt? A: Jenny Shipley gets chauffered in a Ford. Q: How much wood could a Ford ute haul if a Ford ute could haul wood? A: As much as the Holden ute towing it. Ford acronyms: F O R D Found On Rubbish Dumps Fix Or Repair Daily Fails On Rainy Days Fails On Race Day Found On Roadside Dead Factory Ordered Road Disaster Factory Ordered Rebuilt Datsun Flip Over Read Directions Four Old Rusted Doors Ford Owner Really Dumb (French) - Fabrication Ordinare Reparation Dispendieuse Ford Owners Recommend Datsun (Dodge) Flipped Over Russian Dunebuggy For Off Road Death Fords Only Run Downhill Fat Old Rusted Dog Freaking Old Rusted Dodge (Datsun) Forget Out Running Datsuns Or in reverse... D R O F Drivers Return On Foot Don't Ride Over Fifty Danged Roaches Outrun Ford Datsun Rules Over Ford Pinto acronyms... P I N T O Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook Put In New Transmission Often Put In Nickel To Operate If one or more of these is true, unfortunately, you are driving a Ford... You look in your rear-view mirror to see two people with their hands on your tailgate. You constantly receive sympathy cards from the Department of Transportation. When you are walking across the parking lot, you see a priest performing last rights on your car. While stopped at traffic lights, other motorists offer to help push to get you started again. You have preferred customer status at Appco Auto Parts. You have to stop along side the road at least once a day to pick up parts that have fallen off. You leave your keys in the ignition and a $20 bill on the dash for gas money in hopes that someone will steal your car. When you drive though town, people stop what they are doing and just start laughing. People try to hire you to bring your truck to their house to fog for mosquitos. In place of a spare tire, you find a pair of running shoes

09-01-2005, 19:24	#2
ic cold vs Status: January 2006 Best Street Ute! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: queanbeyan, nsw Posts: 803 Rep Power: 6	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! ooooh naaaasty, but oh so true __________________ *who me??????*

09-01-2005, 19:39	#3
utegirl70 Status: Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! Sigh...Just reverse it & use Holden's letters,this is childlike....we can go on like this forever.....

09-01-2005, 19:46	#4
Billy Status: BeautUtes.com est. 2004 Join Date: Sep 2004 Location: Dumbleyung! Posts: 8,186 Rep Power: 10	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! Ute girl, Its all in good fun, if you can find a good ford joke for holden lovers, please feel free to post it! This Ute Forum is not just for holden fans it is also for ford lovers too! Even though I love Holdens, I do admire ford utes as well, if I see nice ford utes I always take pics of them for the ute photo gallery! __________________ Rural Classifieds \| Depression Forum \| Lost Treasure \| Rain Calendar \| Beaut Utes

18-01-2005, 11:47	#5
Melzy Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: kalgoorlie Posts: 342 Rep Power: 6	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! ok ok ok HOLDEN stands for Holes, Oil Leaks Dents & Engine Noises on the 8th day god created holdens to keep peckers heads out of fords yep found on rubbish dump, why cause i was just dropping off another load of holden stuff

20-01-2005, 18:38	#8
The Lucky Bitch Status: Newbie Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Gibson 25ks out of Esperance Posts: 22 Rep Power: 0	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! As the story goes i'd ranther push my holden than drive ford! Last edited by The Lucky Bitch; 20-01-2005 at 18:39.. Reason: spelt wrong

22-01-2005, 04:23	#9
corbster Status: Newbie Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: sunny coast Posts: 3 Rep Power: 0	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! As i have asked the question many times...Why do holden drivers drive so bloody fast? Well wouldnt you so you can get out of it quicker. __________________ www.proUTES.com www.coastcars.net/

04-02-2005, 15:36	#12
Blondie 1974 Status: Newbie Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Mandurah Posts: 22 Rep Power: 0	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! No HOLDEN stands for Hope Our Luck Doesn't End Now

06-02-2005, 20:49	#14
Melzy Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: kalgoorlie Posts: 342 Rep Power: 6	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! ok ok here we go High Output Lights Drain Energy Notoriously How do you make a holden drive at least 1000 miles without breaking down? Put a ford engine in it i had a real bad nightmare last night, i dreamt i owned a holden HOLDEN australia most widely used warning label why are holdens cheaper than fords? Because you get what you pay for ok this should give everyone something to think about. have a good day FORD ROCKS, I LOVE MINE

06-02-2005, 21:04	#15
utegirl70 Status: Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! WOOHOO!!! You go grrrl....now this is gettin' interesting hey fellas!! Bout time the FORD fans fought back!!! Yeeha!!

07-02-2005, 16:08	#16
ic cold vs Status: January 2006 Best Street Ute! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: queanbeyan, nsw Posts: 803 Rep Power: 6	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! CAR WARS ford lovers strike back but holden still rules __________________ *who me??????*

07-02-2005, 18:27	#17
charliesblade Status: BirdDawg Inc. Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Geraldton, WA Posts: 603 Rep Power: 6	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! No-one ever wins a war... (but this could b fun! GO FORD GO! WOO!) Last edited by charliesblade; 07-02-2005 at 18:29.. Reason: stuff

25-02-2005, 04:19	#18
red sled Status: Newbie Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: Buderim Qld. Posts: 23 Rep Power: 0	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! i love my FORD SSSSSS ant they all start first crank maybe they are a barstard to fix the coils on but ya only do that so ofter but i ask do holden make a heavy ute ??? anyone seen any H150 ' s or H250 ? H350 thought not ! i need a vehicle with a tough chassis and the holdens just dont cut it i have looked closely, objectivle and just on strength alone ford is a cut above for those of you that have seen my blue stretched wagon will know why ford will always be best

25-02-2005, 11:38	#19
Tonky Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: Bridgetown Posts: 492 Rep Power: 55	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! OK well im not a 1 sided person when it comes to cars, as long as they get me from A to B ill be happy, but try this, HOLDEN; Hold On Love Darn Engines Nacked.

25-02-2005, 22:27	#20
Melzy Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: kalgoorlie Posts: 342 Rep Power: 6	Re: Sorry Ford Lovers! i have some more for you all in 6 days god made the world, on the 7th he made a holden and on the 8th day he traded it in for a FORD this is FORD country and on quiet nights you can hear holdens rusting well only 2 but are still searching for more. GO FORDS have a great day

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