Red necks!!

urban cowboy · 19-06-2008, 17:40

Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck?
A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved

Q: How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum?
A: Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars.

Research had been going on for many years as to the invention of the toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose of the device, but wanted to know and acknowledge the originating location. After a very long and exasperating study the researchers came to their conclusion as to the origin of the toothbrush. It was decided that the brush was invented by a redneck. Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was a simple deduction, "If it was invented by anyone else, it would have been called a teethbrush."
A young ventriloquist is touring the South and stops to entertain at a bar in Texas.

He's going through his usual stupid Redneck jokes, when a big burly guy in the audience stands up and says "I've heard just about enough of your smart ass hillbilly jokes; we ain't all stupid here in the South." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the big guy pipes up, "You stay out of this Mister, I'm talking to the smart ass little fella on your knee!"

BeautUtes

Biscuit · 20-06-2008, 15:28

You might be a redneck if you cant remember what the blue tarp in your front yard is covering

Pintara · 20-06-2008, 16:32

if u u drive realy fast in reverse then slam on the brakes to empty your ute u might bee a redneck

if u have eva had your niple bitten off by a beever u might be a redneck

if u work wid out a top on and so does your partner u might b redneck

big bear · 20-06-2008, 17:19

if you mow you lawn and find a car u might be ummm...me hehehe

BeautUtes

Drazyk · 20-06-2008, 17:27

"Guys if your woman ever says to you, 'I think we should start seeing other people' trust me, she has already cut a pony from the herd and if she ain't ridin 'im yet she has pulled the saddle outta the barn."

metal mickey · 21-06-2008, 00:21

you might be a redneck if you mow your lawn and find a car

urban cowboy · 21-06-2008, 14:35

funny thing is sum of those tings sound like me lol

Dust_demon2 · 23-06-2008, 12:27

you might be a redneck if your working tv sits on top of your nonworking tv

BeautUtes

bigwal_123 · 23-06-2008, 12:38

if you smoked during your wedding.....you might be a redneck.

if people ask to hunt in your front yard... you might be a redneck

if you have an above ground pool and you fish in it.... you might be a redneck.

if youve ever been too drunk to fish....

Biscuit · 23-06-2008, 16:15

You might be a redneck if you list your marital status as "In Between"

You might be a redneck if your grandfather leaves everything in his will to his fifth wife - but she cant touch it til she turns 18

trashman · 24-06-2008, 03:46

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dust_demon2

you might be a redneck if your working tv sits on top of your nonworking tv

or if the top tv has vishon but no sound and the bottem tv has sound but no vishon ... i know a person who did this ... lol lol

19-06-2008, 17:40	#1 (permalink)
urban cowboy Status: Feral Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: gold coast Posts: 103 Rep Power: 1	Red necks!! Q: What's the difference between a good ol' boy and a redneck? A: The good ol' boy raises livestock. The redneck gets emotionally involved Q: How many rednecks does it take eat a 'possum? A: Two. One to eat, and one to watch for cars. Research had been going on for many years as to the invention of the toothbrush. Researchers knew the purpose of the device, but wanted to know and acknowledge the originating location. After a very long and exasperating study the researchers came to their conclusion as to the origin of the toothbrush. It was decided that the brush was invented by a redneck. Intrigued with the discovery, the researchers were asked by the media how they came to the conclusion. They all agree it was a simple deduction, "If it was invented by anyone else, it would have been called a teethbrush." A young ventriloquist is touring the South and stops to entertain at a bar in Texas. He's going through his usual stupid Redneck jokes, when a big burly guy in the audience stands up and says "I've heard just about enough of your smart ass hillbilly jokes; we ain't all stupid here in the South." Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the big guy pipes up, "You stay out of this Mister, I'm talking to the smart ass little fella on your knee!" __________________ KEEP BETWEEN THE DITCHES!

20-06-2008, 15:28	#2 (permalink)
Biscuit Status: Feral Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: South OF Brisbane - Happy Burgs :) Posts: 64 Rep Power: 2	Re: Red necks!! You might be a redneck if you cant remember what the blue tarp in your front yard is covering __________________ Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.

20-06-2008, 16:32	#3 (permalink)
Pintara Status: Feral Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: silvan Posts: 136 Rep Power: 1	Re: Red necks!! if u u drive realy fast in reverse then slam on the brakes to empty your ute u might bee a redneck if u have eva had your niple bitten off by a beever u might be a redneck if u work wid out a top on and so does your partner u might b redneck

20-06-2008, 17:19	#4 (permalink)
big bear Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Port Hedland Posts: 502 Rep Power: 3	Re: Red necks!! if you mow you lawn and find a car u might be ummm...me hehehe

20-06-2008, 17:27	#5 (permalink)
Drazyk Status: Punky Utester Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Sunny Coast, Qld Posts: 116 Rep Power: 2	Re: Red necks!! "Guys if your woman ever says to you, 'I think we should start seeing other people' trust me, she has already cut a pony from the herd and if she ain't ridin 'im yet she has pulled the saddle outta the barn." __________________ Maybe this world is another planets Hell Well I ain't first class, But I ain't white trash Last edited by Drazyk; 20-06-2008 at 17:32.

21-06-2008, 00:21	#6 (permalink)
metal mickey Status: CRAZY AND MAD LOL Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: rum capital of australia Posts: 2,357 Rep Power: 6	Re: Red necks!! you might be a redneck if you mow your lawn and find a car __________________ RUM SO MUCH MORE THAN A BREAKFAST FOOD

21-06-2008, 14:35	#7 (permalink)
urban cowboy Status: Feral Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: gold coast Posts: 103 Rep Power: 1	Re: Red necks!! funny thing is sum of those tings sound like me lol __________________ KEEP BETWEEN THE DITCHES!

23-06-2008, 12:27	#8 (permalink)
Dust_demon2 Status: Feral Member Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: where ever my swag lays Posts: 170 Rep Power: 2	Re: Red necks!! you might be a redneck if your working tv sits on top of your nonworking tv __________________ HILLBILLY TECHNOLOGY THE PADDOCK WAS RIGHT SO I CUT HOOPS ALL NIGHT *MOORA MONGRELS* DRINKEN RUM AND HAVEN FUN SINCE 2001

23-06-2008, 12:38	#9 (permalink)
bigwal_123 Status: Newbie Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: Dubvegas Posts: 11 Rep Power: 0	Re: Red necks!! if you smoked during your wedding.....you might be a redneck. if people ask to hunt in your front yard... you might be a redneck if you have an above ground pool and you fish in it.... you might be a redneck. if youve ever been too drunk to fish....

23-06-2008, 16:15	#10 (permalink)
Biscuit Status: Feral Member Join Date: May 2007 Location: South OF Brisbane - Happy Burgs :) Posts: 64 Rep Power: 2	Re: Red necks!! You might be a redneck if you list your marital status as "In Between" You might be a redneck if your grandfather leaves everything in his will to his fifth wife - but she cant touch it til she turns 18 __________________ Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer.