metal mickey

Two Aussie Builders

Two Aussie builders (Steve-o and Dave-o) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar. The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit.

Steve-o: I reckon he's an accountant.

Dave-o: No way - he's a stockbroker.

Steve-o: He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come in here!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Steve-o and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of the builder.

Steve-o: 'Scuse me.. No offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession.

Steve-o: Oh! What's that then?

Suit: I'll try to explain by example... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Steve-o: Er... Mmm . Well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: Well, it's logical to follow that you keep it in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Steve-o: It's in a pond!

Suit: Well then it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden

Steve-o: As it happens, yes I have got a big garden!

Suit: Well then it's logical to assume that in this town if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Steve-o: As it happens I've got a five-bedroom house...built it myself!

Suit: Well given that you've built a five-bedroom house it is logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Steve-o: Yes I am married; I live with my wife and three children.

Suit: Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Steve-o: Yep! Four nights a week!

Suit: Well then it is logical to suggest that you do not masturbate very often?

Steve-o: Me? Never.

Suit: Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Steve-o: How's that then?

Suit: Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Steve-o: I see! That's pretty impressive...thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Steve-o returns to his mate.

Dave-o: I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Steve-o: Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Dave-o: What's that then?

Steve-o: I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Dave-o: Nope.

Steve-o: Well then, you're a wanker.

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STILL LOST