good old funny texts.

Tassie · 12-06-2008, 15:14

i will cut swear words where possible, use your imagination!

if your lover had put on too much weight get them to walk 3miles in the morning and 3 miles in the evening, by weeks end the fat (so and so).... will be 42 miles away!

confidence is.. getting home at 4am drunk & reacking of cheap purfume slapping your wife on the bum and whispering "your next B^%CH"

remember the time i stuck my bum out the window on the train and then you stuck your head out the window and people on the platform thought we were twins!

why do men fart more than women? because women dont shut up long enouth to build up pressure.

quote of the day. a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying that was F%$^&G awsume!

lord before i lay down to sleep i pray 4 a man who's not a creep, one who's hansome, smart and strong, one who's willy's thick and long, oh send me a man who makes love to my mind, knows just what to say when i ask how big's my behind, and as i kneel and pray by my bed i look at the wan%$r you sent instead.

when you see your wife runnnig around the garden covered in blood screaming and disorientated DONT PANIC... calm down relax.. reload take aim and shoot again!

now guys i hope they not to rude or offensive, if not i might post more when i know its okay.

if they were too bad i guess they will close the post..
but untill then enjoy

tassie

BeautUtes

urban cowboy · 12-06-2008, 16:14

haha there good tassie! iv posted worse lol

Tassie · 12-06-2008, 16:44

good looks catch the eye, good personality catches the heart. you were blessed with both.. flattered? well dont be, it was sent to me i just wanted you to read it.

telsra are sorry but the network has gone down on all users except you! we regret to inform you that no one would go down on you! not even a network!

Welcome to dating.com has had your addy on there for 8 weeks with no reply, would you like us to try with out your picture?

an old hooker in taxi cant pay her fare so she lifts her skirt and asks " can i pay with this?" cab driver says "oh my gosh woman aint you got anything smaller?"

irelands worst air disaster occured today when a 2seater plane crashed into a cematary.... irish search and rescue have recovered 286 bodies... digging continues.

this dog, is dog, a dog, way dog, to dog keep dog a dog looser dog busy dog... now read with out the dog!

friendship's like pissin in ya pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth, so thank you for being the piss in my pants.

Cowgirl Ally · 12-06-2008, 17:02

Wot are ya doin girl lol lol lol that bloody cracked me up

BeautUtes

Pintara · 12-06-2008, 17:04

hahahaha thats good i liked it

Tassie · 12-06-2008, 17:05

ha ha i will post more soon ha ha gatta be careful though moar are plain filth and i would get in trouble if i put em up!

Cowgirl Ally · 12-06-2008, 17:10

That'll be rite lol lol i got some good ones myself but same thing goes

Cowgirl Ally · 12-06-2008, 17:13

Ya doin good lol lol lol lol

BeautUtes

Tassie · 12-06-2008, 17:18

if ya get a laugh pass em on to ya mates!!

hi, dont panic but im in hospital, i poisened my self, i ate what i thought was an onion, it turnes out it was a daffodill bulb. doctors say i will be out in the spring... (send this one on, it gets a lot of ppl)

i used to hate weddings all the old dears would poke me and say "your next dear" i soon sopped the
F&^%$%s when i started doing the same at funerals.

two old ladies playing bingo and one says did you come on the bus? the other one replies.. yes but i tried to make it look like an astma attack!

the anal optic nerve is connected to the eye ball, dont belive me? just pull a pube from ya bum crack and see if ya eyes water!

thank you for your recent purchace at our sex shop, you chose the big red vibrator as featured on our wall. please re-select as you chose our fire extinguisher.

crikey mate... i just seen 2 deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands in each others knickers.... do you think they were lip reading??

a family are driving behind a rubbish truck when a dildo flies out the back and hits their windscreen, embarassed and trying to protect her young childrens innocence the woman says"my thats a big insect" the boy replies " im supprised it can fly with a c^%k like that!

12-06-2008, 15:14	#1 (permalink)
Tassie Status: Feral Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: devonport Posts: 124 Rep Power: 1	good old funny texts. i will cut swear words where possible, use your imagination! if your lover had put on too much weight get them to walk 3miles in the morning and 3 miles in the evening, by weeks end the fat (so and so).... will be 42 miles away! confidence is.. getting home at 4am drunk & reacking of cheap purfume slapping your wife on the bum and whispering "your next B^%CH" remember the time i stuck my bum out the window on the train and then you stuck your head out the window and people on the platform thought we were twins! why do men fart more than women? because women dont shut up long enouth to build up pressure. quote of the day. a good friend will bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting next to you saying that was F%$^&G awsume! lord before i lay down to sleep i pray 4 a man who's not a creep, one who's hansome, smart and strong, one who's willy's thick and long, oh send me a man who makes love to my mind, knows just what to say when i ask how big's my behind, and as i kneel and pray by my bed i look at the wan%$r you sent instead. when you see your wife runnnig around the garden covered in blood screaming and disorientated DONT PANIC... calm down relax.. reload take aim and shoot again! now guys i hope they not to rude or offensive, if not i might post more when i know its okay. if they were too bad i guess they will close the post.. but untill then enjoy tassie __________________ Ban Pedestrians... not the bloody bull bar Country girls wear boot's n drive ute's! Rockin the rig! this in not the usa!! we do things our own way! Any attempt to pass WILL result in a race!!!! "Couse im country" :)

12-06-2008, 16:14	#2 (permalink)
urban cowboy Status: Feral Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: gold coast Posts: 85 Rep Power: 1	Re: good old funny texts. haha there good tassie! iv posted worse lol __________________ KEEP BETWEEN THE DITCHES!

12-06-2008, 16:44	#3 (permalink)
Tassie Status: Feral Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: devonport Posts: 124 Rep Power: 1	more texts good looks catch the eye, good personality catches the heart. you were blessed with both.. flattered? well dont be, it was sent to me i just wanted you to read it. telsra are sorry but the network has gone down on all users except you! we regret to inform you that no one would go down on you! not even a network! Welcome to dating.com has had your addy on there for 8 weeks with no reply, would you like us to try with out your picture? an old hooker in taxi cant pay her fare so she lifts her skirt and asks " can i pay with this?" cab driver says "oh my gosh woman aint you got anything smaller?" irelands worst air disaster occured today when a 2seater plane crashed into a cematary.... irish search and rescue have recovered 286 bodies... digging continues. this dog, is dog, a dog, way dog, to dog keep dog a dog looser dog busy dog... now read with out the dog! friendship's like pissin in ya pants, everyone can see it but only you can feel its true warmth, so thank you for being the piss in my pants. __________________ Ban Pedestrians... not the bloody bull bar Country girls wear boot's n drive ute's! Rockin the rig! this in not the usa!! we do things our own way! Any attempt to pass WILL result in a race!!!! "Couse im country" :)

12-06-2008, 17:02	#4 (permalink)
Cowgirl Ally Status: LOST IN THE OUTBACK!!! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mt Isa QLD the middle of bloody no where!! Posts: 274 Rep Power: 1	Re: more texts Wot are ya doin girl lol lol lol that bloody cracked me up __________________ YA GET THAT ON BIG JOBS! IT WASEN'T ME!!!! NA IT WAS ME!!!! I Dont Get Drunk, Just Socially Excited!!!!!!!!! ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES!!!

12-06-2008, 17:04	#5 (permalink)
Pintara Status: Feral Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: silvan Posts: 132 Rep Power: 1	Re: more texts hahahaha thats good i liked it

12-06-2008, 17:05	#6 (permalink)
Tassie Status: Feral Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: devonport Posts: 124 Rep Power: 1	Re: more texts ha ha i will post more soon ha ha gatta be careful though moar are plain filth and i would get in trouble if i put em up! __________________ Ban Pedestrians... not the bloody bull bar Country girls wear boot's n drive ute's! Rockin the rig! this in not the usa!! we do things our own way! Any attempt to pass WILL result in a race!!!! "Couse im country" :)

12-06-2008, 17:10	#7 (permalink)
Cowgirl Ally Status: LOST IN THE OUTBACK!!! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mt Isa QLD the middle of bloody no where!! Posts: 274 Rep Power: 1	Re: more texts That'll be rite lol lol i got some good ones myself but same thing goes __________________ YA GET THAT ON BIG JOBS! IT WASEN'T ME!!!! NA IT WAS ME!!!! I Dont Get Drunk, Just Socially Excited!!!!!!!!! ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES!!!

12-06-2008, 17:13	#8 (permalink)
Cowgirl Ally Status: LOST IN THE OUTBACK!!! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mt Isa QLD the middle of bloody no where!! Posts: 274 Rep Power: 1	Re: good old funny texts. Ya doin good lol lol lol lol __________________ YA GET THAT ON BIG JOBS! IT WASEN'T ME!!!! NA IT WAS ME!!!! I Dont Get Drunk, Just Socially Excited!!!!!!!!! ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES!!!

12-06-2008, 17:18	#9 (permalink)
Tassie Status: Feral Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: devonport Posts: 124 Rep Power: 1	yet more texts. if ya get a laugh pass em on to ya mates!! hi, dont panic but im in hospital, i poisened my self, i ate what i thought was an onion, it turnes out it was a daffodill bulb. doctors say i will be out in the spring... (send this one on, it gets a lot of ppl) i used to hate weddings all the old dears would poke me and say "your next dear" i soon sopped the F&^%$%s when i started doing the same at funerals. two old ladies playing bingo and one says did you come on the bus? the other one replies.. yes but i tried to make it look like an astma attack! the anal optic nerve is connected to the eye ball, dont belive me? just pull a pube from ya bum crack and see if ya eyes water! thank you for your recent purchace at our sex shop, you chose the big red vibrator as featured on our wall. please re-select as you chose our fire extinguisher. crikey mate... i just seen 2 deaf lesbians walking down the street with their hands in each others knickers.... do you think they were lip reading?? a family are driving behind a rubbish truck when a dildo flies out the back and hits their windscreen, embarassed and trying to protect her young childrens innocence the woman says"my thats a big insect" the boy replies " im supprised it can fly with a c^%k like that! __________________ Ban Pedestrians... not the bloody bull bar Country girls wear boot's n drive ute's! Rockin the rig! this in not the usa!! we do things our own way! Any attempt to pass WILL result in a race!!!! "Couse im country" :)