good old funny texts. - Page 3

metal mickey · 13-06-2008, 16:45

best one i got was when september 11 plane crash in america it said my name is osama i need a palce to hide for a while can i stay at your place

BeautUtes

Cowgirl Ally · 15-06-2008, 07:34

today is international spaz day plz send an encouraging mesage to a retard just as iv'e done.. i dont care if u lick windows, interfere with farm animals, or occasionaly s$#@ yourself u hang in there sunshine your f%$#in special

6 truths of life
1 you cannot touch all your teeth with your toung

2All idiots, aftre reading the truth try it

3 the first truth is a lie

4 your smiling now, because your an idiot

5 you will soon foward this to a nother idiot

6 There's still a stupid smile on ya face.....

Yea i know this is an oldie but

Ben ask's his new girlfriend 4 a hand job?? ive never done that before she sez wot do i do?? Well rember when u were a kid and ud skake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it...thats wot u do he said.. so she nods pulls it out, grabs hold of it and starts shakin it a minute later he has tears runnin down his face, snot flowin from his nose and wax from his ears.... she said wot's wrong he cryes out take ya f$#@%n thum off the end!!!!!!!

Ash89 · 15-06-2008, 15:37

haha those are classic

reply for the retard day one:
Oh S*#t didn't you get the email?? the national retard day was changed this year to today for anyone who sent a retard msg!!

YOUR F#$*#D UP BIG TIME, I AINT EVEN JOKING..... YOU B*$#H I TRUSTED YOU SO F*$#*$g MUCH..... OH MY GOD YOU COULDNT KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.....WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE MY BUSINESS???? I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY MATE... I GUESS NOT HUH! THIS IS SOOOO F#$&%D UP!!
NOW EVERYONE KNOWS HOW F#*$*#G SEXY I REALLY AM!!!! HAHAHAHA! SH#T YOURSELF??

bundyliscious · 15-06-2008, 17:05

A friend of mine in a parachute regiment has been stationed in switzerland for the last 2years. He has recently married a local girl who can wash up with one hand, cook tea with the other, dust with one foot while s&*%ing his C*^% as she opens a beer with her A$$. She's a swiss army WIFE!

Why are kebabs and virginas so alike?? They both drip all the time, the meat is always hanging out and you always want one when your pissed.

Baa Baa Big C*&^, have you any sperm, Yes ma'am yes ma'am 2 balls firm, none for the girlfriend, none for the ex, Its all for the dirty girl reading this text.

A true friend is like a bra- hard to find, lifts you up, gives you support and is always close to your heart.

True friendship poem
When your said, i'll help you get drunk
when your blue, i'll dislodge whatever your choking on
When you smile,i'll know you got laid
When your scared, i'll hang shit on you
When your worried, i'll slap you till you stop whining
When your confused, i'll use four letter words
When you fall, i'll point and laugh
When your sick, stay the F&*% away from me
send this to 10 good friends and then get depressed coz you can only think of four

BeautUtes

Tassie · 15-06-2008, 18:43

ash my m8 sent that to me a coupla days ago, needless to say i shit my self.. it was a good one.

Kiki · 15-06-2008, 20:24

i love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrusts in and out up and down i cant wait till the next time. I love brushing my teeth

what do you call a chinaman nailed to fence?? Pae ling

children in backseats causes accidents, accidents in backseats causes children

it is reported that heath ledger died of alcohol poisioning... too many c*#k sucking cowboys

I will seenk & find you take you 2 bed & have my way with u i will make u ache shake & sweat until u moan & groan. I will make u beg for mercy beg for me 2 stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when i'm finished with you & when i'm finished, u will be weak 4 days, All my love THE FLU now get you mind out of the gutter

Cowgirl Ally · 16-06-2008, 07:00

ok this ones a bit twisted but dont hold it agenst me

a man comes home from work one day to find his wife in bed.. he slips under the covers and goes down on her after she comes he goes to the barthroom to clean his face and see his wife sitting on the edge of the bath shaving her leg's and he screams wot the f$%# u doin in here she replyed shhhhh.... u'll wake ya mother!!!!!!!

sick i know lol lol

Choppa · 16-06-2008, 08:35

Ohhhh YUKO

BeautUtes

urban cowboy · 16-06-2008, 16:23

hahaha iv heard those 1s sum were before kiki lol

Kiki · 16-06-2008, 16:27

13-06-2008, 16:45	#41 (permalink)
metal mickey Status: USUAL CRAP Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: rum capital of australia Posts: 2,079 Rep Power: 6	Re: good old funny texts. best one i got was when september 11 plane crash in america it said my name is osama i need a palce to hide for a while can i stay at your place __________________ STILL LOST

15-06-2008, 07:34	#42 (permalink)
Cowgirl Ally Status: LOST IN THE OUTBACK!!! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mt Isa QLD the middle of bloody no where!! Posts: 274 Rep Power: 1	Re: good old funny texts. today is international spaz day plz send an encouraging mesage to a retard just as iv'e done.. i dont care if u lick windows, interfere with farm animals, or occasionaly s$#@ yourself u hang in there sunshine your f%$#in special 6 truths of life 1 you cannot touch all your teeth with your toung 2All idiots, aftre reading the truth try it 3 the first truth is a lie 4 your smiling now, because your an idiot 5 you will soon foward this to a nother idiot 6 There's still a stupid smile on ya face..... Yea i know this is an oldie but Ben ask's his new girlfriend 4 a hand job?? ive never done that before she sez wot do i do?? Well rember when u were a kid and ud skake a coke bottle and spray your brother with it...thats wot u do he said.. so she nods pulls it out, grabs hold of it and starts shakin it a minute later he has tears runnin down his face, snot flowin from his nose and wax from his ears.... she said wot's wrong he cryes out take ya f$#@%n thum off the end!!!!!!! __________________ YA GET THAT ON BIG JOBS! IT WASEN'T ME!!!! NA IT WAS ME!!!! I Dont Get Drunk, Just Socially Excited!!!!!!!!! ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES!!!

15-06-2008, 15:37	#43 (permalink)
Ash89 Status: Feral Member Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Grenfell,i gues you'd classify it "country" Posts: 248 Rep Power: 2	Re: good old funny texts. haha those are classic reply for the retard day one: Oh S#t didn't you get the email?? the national retard day was changed this year to today for anyone who sent a retard msg!! YOUR F#$#D UP BIG TIME, I AINT EVEN JOKING..... YOU B$#H I TRUSTED YOU SO F$#$g MUCH..... OH MY GOD YOU COULDNT KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT.....WHY DO YOU HAVE TO TELL EVERYONE MY BUSINESS???? I CANT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT!!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY MATE... I GUESS NOT HUH! THIS IS SOOOO F#$&%D UP!! NOW EVERYONE KNOWS HOW F#$*#G SEXY I REALLY AM!!!! HAHAHAHA! SH#T YOURSELF?? __________________

15-06-2008, 17:05	#44 (permalink)
bundyliscious Status: Feral Member Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: thurgoona Posts: 150 Rep Power: 2	Re: good old funny texts. A friend of mine in a parachute regiment has been stationed in switzerland for the last 2years. He has recently married a local girl who can wash up with one hand, cook tea with the other, dust with one foot while s&%ing his C^% as she opens a beer with her A$$. She's a swiss army WIFE! Why are kebabs and virginas so alike?? They both drip all the time, the meat is always hanging out and you always want one when your pissed. Baa Baa Big C&^, have you any sperm, Yes ma'am yes ma'am 2 balls firm, none for the girlfriend, none for the ex, Its all for the dirty girl reading this text. A true friend is like a bra- hard to find, lifts you up, gives you support and is always close to your heart. True friendship poem When your said, i'll help you get drunk when your blue, i'll dislodge whatever your choking on When you smile,i'll know you got laid When your scared, i'll hang shit on you When your worried, i'll slap you till you stop whining When your confused, i'll use four letter words When you fall, i'll point and laugh When your sick, stay the F&% away from me send this to 10 good friends and then get depressed coz you can only think of four __________________ Hell hath no fury like a women on RUM! *Harden the F&^k Up Princess* *This Is Cowgirl Country!* I AM THE ONE, THE ORIGINAL THE GENUINE ARTICLE (i am also a pain in the AR$E!) *It Aint Wrong, I Aint Sorry and* Its Probably Gonna Happen AGAIN! Last edited by bundyliscious; 15-06-2008 at 17:07.

15-06-2008, 18:43	#45 (permalink)
Tassie Status: Feral Member Join Date: May 2008 Location: devonport Posts: 119 Rep Power: 1	Re: good old funny texts. ash my m8 sent that to me a coupla days ago, needless to say i shit my self.. it was a good one. __________________ Ban Pedestrians... not the bloody bull bar Country girls wear boot's n drive ute's! Rockin the rig! this in not the usa!! we do things our own way! Any attempt to pass WILL result in a race!!!! "Couse im country" :)

15-06-2008, 20:24	#46 (permalink)
Kiki Status: Beaut Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: TASSIE Posts: 498 Rep Power: 3	Re: good old funny texts. i love the way it rubs against the soft pink flesh creating a creamy foamy liquid, as it thrusts in and out up and down i cant wait till the next time. I love brushing my teeth what do you call a chinaman nailed to fence?? Pae ling children in backseats causes accidents, accidents in backseats causes children it is reported that heath ledger died of alcohol poisioning... too many c*#k sucking cowboys I will seenk & find you take you 2 bed & have my way with u i will make u ache shake & sweat until u moan & groan. I will make u beg for mercy beg for me 2 stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when i'm finished with you & when i'm finished, u will be weak 4 days, All my love THE FLU now get you mind out of the gutter __________________ WRANGLER BUTS DRIVE ME NUTS!!

16-06-2008, 07:00	#47 (permalink)
Cowgirl Ally Status: LOST IN THE OUTBACK!!! Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Mt Isa QLD the middle of bloody no where!! Posts: 274 Rep Power: 1	Re: good old funny texts. ok this ones a bit twisted but dont hold it agenst me a man comes home from work one day to find his wife in bed.. he slips under the covers and goes down on her after she comes he goes to the barthroom to clean his face and see his wife sitting on the edge of the bath shaving her leg's and he screams wot the f$%# u doin in here she replyed shhhhh.... u'll wake ya mother!!!!!!! sick i know lol lol __________________ YA GET THAT ON BIG JOBS! IT WASEN'T ME!!!! NA IT WAS ME!!!! I Dont Get Drunk, Just Socially Excited!!!!!!!!! ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES!!!

16-06-2008, 08:35	#48 (permalink)
Choppa Status: Exclusive Member Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: gosnells WA city Posts: 552 Rep Power: 3	Re: good old funny texts. Ohhhh YUKO __________________ WE MAYBE OLD BUT WE STILL KNOW HOW TO PLAY HARD. ARE YOU READY TO RUMBLE RALLY TO DALLY

16-06-2008, 16:23	#49 (permalink)
urban cowboy Status: Feral Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: gold coast Posts: 83 Rep Power: 0	Re: good old funny texts. hahaha iv heard those 1s sum were before kiki lol

16-06-2008, 16:27	#50 (permalink)
Kiki Status: Beaut Member Join Date: May 2006 Location: TASSIE Posts: 498 Rep Power: 3	Re: good old funny texts. yep __________________ WRANGLER BUTS DRIVE ME NUTS!!