Adult Fairy Tales

metal mickey · 15-05-2008, 14:18

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised
to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two
conditions. 'First, you must wear a diaphragm.'
Cinderella agrees. 'What's the second condition?'
'You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.'
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes,
and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking
love struck and very satisfied.
'Where have you been?' demands the Fairy Godmother. 'Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a
pumpkin three hours ago!!!'
' I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything.'
The Fairy Godmother stated, 'I know of no
prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!'
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .
Peter, Peter, pumpkin something.
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio
skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town
and asked him, 'How's the girlfriend?'
Pinocchio replied, 'Who needs a girlfriend?'
_____________________________________________
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
throat, said, 'Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!'
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and
pulled out a ...44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, 'No, you're not.
You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book.'
____________________________________________
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the
judge said to Mickey,
'You say here that your wife is crazy.'
Mickey replied, 'I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy.'
___________________________________________
SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, 'Lie to me!
Lie to me!'
___________________________________________
Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
____________________________________________
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.
'What's that?' he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
'Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree.'
Horrified, she said, ' Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how
to do it properly.' She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread
her legs. 'Here,' she said, 'you must put it in here.'
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty
kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
'What the hell did you do that for?'
'Just checking for bees,' said Tarzan.

BeautUtes

Clarky · 15-05-2008, 14:22

HA i like em..

Cowgirl Ally · 15-05-2008, 14:25

funny bugger that puts a twist on bedtime stories lol

big bear · 15-05-2008, 14:44

hahaahh nice

BeautUtes

PEDLER · 15-05-2008, 18:23

haha there tops

russell dawson · 16-05-2008, 17:49

Quote:

Originally Posted by metal mickey

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her.
As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised
to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two
conditions. 'First, you must wear a diaphragm.'
Cinderella agrees. 'What's the second condition?'
'You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.'
Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes,
and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking
love struck and very satisfied.
'Where have you been?' demands the Fairy Godmother. 'Your diaphragm was
supposed to turn into a
pumpkin three hours ago!!!'
' I met a prince, Fairy Godmother.
He took care of everything.'
The Fairy Godmother stated, 'I know of no
prince with that kind of power!
Tell me his name!'
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, .
Peter, Peter, pumpkin something.
___________________________________________
PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit
Gepetto to see if he could help.
Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio
skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town
and asked him, 'How's the girlfriend?'
Pinocchio replied, 'Who needs a girlfriend?'
_____________________________________________
LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly
the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
throat, said, 'Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!'
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and
pulled out a ...44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, 'No, you're not.
You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book.'
____________________________________________
MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the
judge said to Mickey,
'You say here that your wife is crazy.'
Mickey replied, 'I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king Goofy.'
___________________________________________
SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up
behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, 'Lie to me!
Lie to me!'
___________________________________________
Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch.
____________________________________________
One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex.
'What's that?' he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said,
'Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree.'
Horrified, she said, ' Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how
to do it properly.' She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread
her legs. 'Here,' she said, 'you must put it in here.'
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty
kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp,
'What the hell did you do that for?'
'Just checking for bees,' said Tarzan.

russell dawson · 16-05-2008, 17:49

not bad at alol

Matt_91 · 16-05-2008, 18:42

hahahaha bloody gold mate lol

BeautUtes

fatboy2869 · 17-05-2008, 18:13

haha there gold top stuff

15-05-2008, 14:18	#1 (permalink)
metal mickey Status: CRAZY AND MAD LOL Join Date: Feb 2005 Location: rum capital of australia Posts: 2,357 Rep Power: 6	Adult Fairy Tales CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother appears, and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to the ball, but only on two conditions. 'First, you must wear a diaphragm.' Cinderella agrees. 'What's the second condition?' 'You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn into a pumpkin.' Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 a.m. The appointed hour comes and goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella shows up, looking love struck and very satisfied. 'Where have you been?' demands the Fairy Godmother. 'Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin three hours ago!!!' ' I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything.' The Fairy Godmother stated, 'I know of no prince with that kind of power! Tell me his name!' Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly, . Peter, Peter, pumpkin something. ___________________________________________ PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened. A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through town and asked him, 'How's the girlfriend?' Pinocchio replied, 'Who needs a girlfriend?' _____________________________________________ LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her throat, said, 'Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!' To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket and pulled out a ...44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, 'No, you're not. You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book.' ____________________________________________ MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, 'You say here that your wife is crazy.' Mickey replied, 'I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's fking Goofy.' ___________________________________________ SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, 'Lie to me! Lie to me!' ___________________________________________ Did you know...Captain Hook died from jock itch. ____________________________________________ One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged to have sex. 'What's that?' he asked. She explained to him what sex was and he said, 'Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree.' Horrified, she said, ' Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show you how to do it properly.' She took off her clothes, lay down on the ground and spread her legs. 'Here,' she said, 'you must put it in here.' Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, 'What the hell did you do that for?' 'Just checking for bees,' said Tarzan. __________________ RUM SO MUCH MORE THAN A BREAKFAST FOOD**

15-05-2008, 14:22	#2 (permalink)
Clarky Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Aug 2007 Location: From Vic, now in Perth, well near it anyway Posts: 485 Rep Power: 2	Re: Adult Fairy Tales HA i like em.. __________________ "Dreams were won and lost under the Southern Cross" Friends come and go but i will always be here!! "Such is life" so NED would say LIFE'S TOO SHORT TO BE THROWN AWAY SO... Grab a friend and tell them how you feel about them.

15-05-2008, 14:25	#3 (permalink)
Cowgirl Ally Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Back home in good old Mildura!!! Posts: 297 Rep Power: 1	Re: Adult Fairy Tales funny bugger that puts a twist on bedtime stories lol __________________ YA GET THAT ON BIG JOBS! IT WASEN'T ME!!!! NA IT WAS ME!!!! I Dont Get Drunk, Just Socially Excited!!!!!!!!! ROUGH AROUND THE EDGES!!!

15-05-2008, 14:44	#4 (permalink)
big bear Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Port Hedland Posts: 502 Rep Power: 3	Re: Adult Fairy Tales hahaahh nice

15-05-2008, 18:23	#5 (permalink)
PEDLER Status: CAUTION CRAZY BOGAN Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Broadford Posts: 702 Rep Power: 3	Re: Adult Fairy Tales haha there tops __________________ DIESEL BROTHERHOOD IS READY TO ROLL B DOUBLE E DOUBLE R U IN ? *PROUD TO BE AUSTRALIAN* *www.autotechtools.com.au*

16-05-2008, 17:49	#7 (permalink)
russell dawson Status: Newbie Join Date: May 2008 Location: vic Posts: 2 Rep Power: 0	Re: Adult Fairy Tales not bad at alol

16-05-2008, 18:42	#8 (permalink)
Matt_91 Status: Beaut utes.com Postaholic Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: Gatton QLD Posts: 1,584 Rep Power: 3	Re: Adult Fairy Tales hahahaha bloody gold mate lol __________________ SUCH IS LIFE- THE LAST WORDS OF NED KELLY BEFORE BEING HANGED

17-05-2008, 18:13	#9 (permalink)
fatboy2869 Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Tambo Central West Qld Posts: 562 Rep Power: 2	Re: Adult Fairy Tales haha there gold top stuff __________________ Shawn Johnston Tambo, Central West Queensland Mobile:0488530009 MSN: shawn-johnston@hotmail.com Yahoo:fatboyfirey http://www.myspace.com/fatboy2869 A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun lets do it again"