random181

Best bit was with one of them, it took me a while to figure out what was so funny!

THE DIET

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.” When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor says. “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nods. “I’ll tell you, though, I thought I was going to drop dead that third day.” “From hunger, you mean?” asked the doctor. “No, from skipping.”

RIVER WALK

There’s this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank. “Yoo-hoo” she shouts, “how can I get to the other side?” The second blonde looks up the river then down the river then shouts back, “You are on the other side.”

THE INTERVIEW

An executive was interviewing a young blonde for a position in his company. He wanted to find out something about her personality so he asked, “If you could have a conversation with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?” The blonde quickly responded, “The living one.”

SPACEY

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian bragged, “We were the first in space!” The American retorted, “We were the first on the moon!” The Blonde said, “So what, we’re going to be the first on the sun!” The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads. “You can’t land on the sun, you fool. You’ll burn up!” said the Russian. To which the Blonde replied, “We’re not stupid, you know. We’re going at night!”

MAKE UP YOUR MIND!

A police officer stops a blonde for speeding, and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. Huffily, she replied, “I wish you guys would make up your mind. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!”

NO BRAINER

A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. When it was her turn, she rolled the dice, and landed on “Science & Nature.” Her question was, “If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?” She thought for a time and then asked, “Is it on or off?”