Dating friends

Billy_308 · 07-02-2007, 17:49

I would just like to know about peoples stance on dating mates/friends?

The reason I ask is that I have fallen in love with an incredible person who I have been good friends with for so long and she is now single. Every time I spend time with her she is on my mind for the next couple of days and every time I leave the hugs and looks that we have tells me that there could be something there either that or its all in my head because I want something to happen.

The main thing im worried about is that if something happens and it doesn't work out what are the chances of staying friends etc? The other thing is that I don't want a relationship based on sex (actually it wouldn't worry me if we went out for a year before doing that) I want a relationship based on love and companionship and from past experiences with women that kind of thing doesn't happen very often.

Am I the only person that wants this kind of thing from a relationship and if not has it worked for people in the past?

BeautUtes

trashman · 08-02-2007, 00:53

Its been done and can work out well but it's hard one to call on it really depends a lot on the situashon around the two of you and how meany mates you share ... if it all falls over are you not only going to loss her as a mate but a few others as well? the only thing is to talk to her ... just make shore your not the rebound bloke .. that sux and isn't worth risking the fremdship for ...

best of luck with it ...

bundy_sedan · 08-02-2007, 01:26

mate i know how you feel ive been in the situation myself for quite a while and i still dont know what to do i dont wanna risk everything by trying to make something of it coz this girl means the world to me so if you can figure it out mate do me a favour and let me know coz ill admit i need help with this

bund_rum · 08-02-2007, 06:59

i dont think theres a cut and dry answer for this but i think you really need to talk to the chick about it
now if she says that she only wants the friendship and she is the best mate that she is; then nothing should change! then thats a bonus well not as much as if she wanted more but at least you still have your best mate
but if she starts being different maybe the friendship wasnt as strong as you thought and maybe not the person you really wanted
but if you dont take the plunge by asking then you may spend the rest of your life regretting having that one conversation and seeing where it goes(that would sucK)
and isnt a great realtionship based on being best mates as well as best lovers best everything else as well??????
sorry if that sounded a little confusing and not much help

BeautUtes

bluey · 08-02-2007, 19:40

Matt a relationship at times is not easy.. people always and i mean always say we will remain friends and i have to say it never happens... if u feel something for this chick u need to sit down and have a chat bout how things could work out... As you know my bro is dating his best mates sister which was my brothers friend also.. and they have brought a house together and are very happy.. it depends on the 2 people them selfs if u think it can work try it u will never know otherwise and do u wanna spend the rest of ur life woundering??

Melzy · 08-02-2007, 20:48

dating a friends is a tough one. i think the wosre thing is if anything goes wrong you dont just lose a partner but a friend as well. i up until a couple of days ago was with a friend, although its sad to lose a partner its heart breaking to lose a friend. every situation is different and if i had the chance to do it again i wouldnt change a thing.

the best thing about dating a friend is you know each other pretty well already, and you know you enjoy each others company(otherwise you wouldnt be friends). you can just relax and take it easy

i dont evny your decision matt but best of luck with it.

countrygirl18 · 08-02-2007, 20:58

Since you have been friends for so long, she's going to know everything about you, and you know everything about her. You should both know what makes each other tick, and what doesnt. But i dont know your situation, so its hard for me 2 comment, but i find the best thing is to tell them how you feel. I wish i had of done that with one of my good friends, but i waited to long, and when we did end up together he left about 4mths after that. We spoke on the phone all the time after he left, (we broke up b4 he left) but now that im with someone else we arent talking because he got cranky for not telling him and stuff. So, really its up to you, some peoples friendships dont change if something happens, but some do. You might be a lucky one that stays the same. I always thought that mine and his would stay the same, but it didnt. Its hard to tell. Its your choice.. I hope some of this helps.. sorry if it doesnt or irrelevant.

gratte · 08-02-2007, 21:33

well i've done it twice,
both didn't work out but i still am best friends with one.
we where together for about 18 months, we broke up coz i had to move away. we still talk every now and thenand i see her wen i can so all is good.
all i can say is talk to her, let her know how u feel and see where it goes. hope that helps, thats wot a mate of mine told me.

BeautUtes

wildcountry · 08-02-2007, 21:40

well i have only done it twice but the thing is ya cant help who you fall in love with the more ya fight it the more you will avoid them. the first time went well we had both came 2 the conclusion that we would be better off apart and that it would be great that we could still be mates because of being through so much together and yeah the last time is going well, i still in that relationship so we'll see hoiw it goes......

Deco · 08-02-2007, 21:59

Mate i know the exact situation your in and yeah, if ya figure out what to do let us know! The conclusion i came to is that if the girl wants something to happen, she'll let ya know. Otherwise she's probly not interested and the "too good a mates" thing is just a handy excuse cos its somethin that we men don't understand. But yeah let us know if ya make any headway on this one!

07-02-2007, 17:49	#1 (permalink)
Billy_308 Status: Exclusive Member Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Meredith Posts: 499 Rep Power: 4	Dating friends I would just like to know about peoples stance on dating mates/friends? The reason I ask is that I have fallen in love with an incredible person who I have been good friends with for so long and she is now single. Every time I spend time with her she is on my mind for the next couple of days and every time I leave the hugs and looks that we have tells me that there could be something there either that or its all in my head because I want something to happen. The main thing im worried about is that if something happens and it doesn't work out what are the chances of staying friends etc? The other thing is that I don't want a relationship based on sex (actually it wouldn't worry me if we went out for a year before doing that) I want a relationship based on love and companionship and from past experiences with women that kind of thing doesn't happen very often. Am I the only person that wants this kind of thing from a relationship and if not has it worked for people in the past? __________________

08-02-2007, 00:53	#2 (permalink)
trashman Status: Hardcore Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Wolf Creek... lol Wongong Posts: 1,195 Rep Power: 4	Re: Dating friends Its been done and can work out well but it's hard one to call on it really depends a lot on the situashon around the two of you and how meany mates you share ... if it all falls over are you not only going to loss her as a mate but a few others as well? the only thing is to talk to her ... just make shore your not the rebound bloke .. that sux and isn't worth risking the fremdship for ... best of luck with it ... __________________ *Chassing down the dream* *Project Black Opps :* *The NED* *comming in late 2008* *Principle Owner :COMET* *Work hard play harder* *Live my life like my mum told me not to* *With a ute under foot* *a rum in one hand and a pie in the other* *i only have one question?* *WHO THE HELL IS STEERING?*

08-02-2007, 01:26	#3 (permalink)
bundy_sedan Status: Newbie Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Herne Hill Posts: 32 Rep Power: 0	Re: Dating friends mate i know how you feel ive been in the situation myself for quite a while and i still dont know what to do i dont wanna risk everything by trying to make something of it coz this girl means the world to me so if you can figure it out mate do me a favour and let me know coz ill admit i need help with this

08-02-2007, 06:59	#4 (permalink)
bund_rum Status: Feral Member Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: bungendore near canberra Posts: 99 Rep Power: 3	Re: Dating friends i dont think theres a cut and dry answer for this but i think you really need to talk to the chick about it now if she says that she only wants the friendship and she is the best mate that she is; then nothing should change! then thats a bonus well not as much as if she wanted more but at least you still have your best mate but if she starts being different maybe the friendship wasnt as strong as you thought and maybe not the person you really wanted but if you dont take the plunge by asking then you may spend the rest of your life regretting having that one conversation and seeing where it goes(that would sucK) and isnt a great realtionship based on being best mates as well as best lovers best everything else as well?????? sorry if that sounded a little confusing and not much help

08-02-2007, 19:40	#5 (permalink)
bluey Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Elaine victoria { just outa ballarat} Posts: 896 Rep Power: 3	Re: Dating friends Matt a relationship at times is not easy.. people always and i mean always say we will remain friends and i have to say it never happens... if u feel something for this chick u need to sit down and have a chat bout how things could work out... As you know my bro is dating his best mates sister which was my brothers friend also.. and they have brought a house together and are very happy.. it depends on the 2 people them selfs if u think it can work try it u will never know otherwise and do u wanna spend the rest of ur life woundering?? __________________ IT`S COWGIRL UP UNTILL SHE GOES DOWN !! IT`S A CHICK UTE KINDA THING

08-02-2007, 20:48	#6 (permalink)
Melzy Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: kalgoorlie Posts: 352 Rep Power: 5	Re: Dating friends dating a friends is a tough one. i think the wosre thing is if anything goes wrong you dont just lose a partner but a friend as well. i up until a couple of days ago was with a friend, although its sad to lose a partner its heart breaking to lose a friend. every situation is different and if i had the chance to do it again i wouldnt change a thing. the best thing about dating a friend is you know each other pretty well already, and you know you enjoy each others company(otherwise you wouldnt be friends). you can just relax and take it easy i dont evny your decision matt but best of luck with it. __________________ Where's the fun in being "normal' LIVE LOVE LAUGH

08-02-2007, 20:58	#7 (permalink)
countrygirl18 Status: Supacallafreakinawesome Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: Cootamundra Posts: 286 Rep Power: 3	Re: Dating friends Since you have been friends for so long, she's going to know everything about you, and you know everything about her. You should both know what makes each other tick, and what doesnt. But i dont know your situation, so its hard for me 2 comment, but i find the best thing is to tell them how you feel. I wish i had of done that with one of my good friends, but i waited to long, and when we did end up together he left about 4mths after that. We spoke on the phone all the time after he left, (we broke up b4 he left) but now that im with someone else we arent talking because he got cranky for not telling him and stuff. So, really its up to you, some peoples friendships dont change if something happens, but some do. You might be a lucky one that stays the same. I always thought that mine and his would stay the same, but it didnt. Its hard to tell. Its your choice.. I hope some of this helps.. sorry if it doesnt or irrelevant. __________________ *Tests have proven that before a fatal car crash, city people say 'oh fck' where as country people say 'hold on to me bundy and watch this for fckin skill'* Established:17th Jan 1988 Made in Australia "THOUGHT 4 THE DAY! Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, *into your brain & thats where the shitty ideas come from"*

08-02-2007, 21:33	#8 (permalink)
gratte Status: Newbie Join Date: Nov 2005 Location: Ethel Creek Stn, Newman, East Pilbara Posts: 33 Rep Power: 0	Re: Dating friends well i've done it twice, both didn't work out but i still am best friends with one. we where together for about 18 months, we broke up coz i had to move away. we still talk every now and thenand i see her wen i can so all is good. all i can say is talk to her, let her know how u feel and see where it goes. hope that helps, thats wot a mate of mine told me.

08-02-2007, 21:40	#9 (permalink)
wildcountry Status: Beaut Member Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Armadale Posts: 430 Rep Power: 3	Re: Dating friends well i have only done it twice but the thing is ya cant help who you fall in love with the more ya fight it the more you will avoid them. the first time went well we had both came 2 the conclusion that we would be better off apart and that it would be great that we could still be mates because of being through so much together and yeah the last time is going well, i still in that relationship so we'll see hoiw it goes...... __________________ All you guys say ur country haha well i beet ya's all im...... SEMI RURAL

08-02-2007, 21:59	#10 (permalink)
Deco Status: Feral Member Join Date: Sep 2005 Location: Mt Stuart station, West Pilbra WA Posts: 61 Rep Power: 4	Re: Dating friends Mate i know the exact situation your in and yeah, if ya figure out what to do let us know! The conclusion i came to is that if the girl wants something to happen, she'll let ya know. Otherwise she's probly not interested and the "too good a mates" thing is just a handy excuse cos its somethin that we men don't understand. But yeah let us know if ya make any headway on this one! __________________ "But I get a funny feeling in the middle of my back, sure enough hes comin like a train down the track, and thats when nobody else moves faster than this ringer from the top end"

08-02-2007, 22:20	#11 (permalink)