| tescos
 One day, in line at the works cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind
him, 'My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!'
'Listen mate; don't waste your time down at the surgery', Mike
replies. 'There's a diagnostic computer at Tesco. Just give it a
urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to
do about it. It takes ten seconds and only costs five quid....a lot
quicker and better than a doctor and you get Clubcard points'.
So Jack collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Tesco.
He deposits five pounds and the computer lights up and asks for the
urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten
seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: 'You have tennis
elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will
improve in two weeks'.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack
began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap
water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and
daughter, and 'pleasured himself' into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurried back to Tesco, eager to check what would happen. He
deposits five pounds, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results
with a grin.
The computer prints the following:
1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3) Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never
get better....
Thank you for shopping at Tesco
__________________  RUM SO MUCH MORE THAN A BREAKFAST FOOD |